Seriously...Are you serious?

Check the name of the blog. That’s what it’s actually about. The things that happen, that you just stand back and you’re like “are you serious” in response to. Good, bad, awe-inspired, excited, dejected, shocked, heart broken. Are you serious? I can’t believe that this is really life. I cannot fucking believe that this is life. Oh my god! I can’t believe that this is really life!! Whatever way you say it, whatever feeling boils up from inside and pushes those words from your lips, the purpose still remains the same. ARE YOU SERIOUS?

How many times do things that deviate from our expectations happen to us? The answer is always. And despite this truth, I still find myself in shock 90% of the time.

Sometimes I honestly want to go to a crowded coffee shop or a concert or an office building or wherever the hell people of “my generation” are nowadays (so I guess I should post a universal myspace bulletin) and scream into a megaphone “H0w many of you went to school and are doing nothing with your degree? How many of you have no fucking idea what to do with your lives? How many of you are lost, confused, have given up? How many of you are gonna enroll in graduate school cause there’s “nothing else to do”? How many of you are going to get married cause it “makes sense!?”” The whole virtual-stadium raises their hands and I’ll step back in awe despite the fact that I knew the answers and I’ll want to scream “Are you Serious?”

I mean honestly, what the hell is going on? I’ll find a quarter and actually get excited ‘cause I’m that damn broke. I consider going out to Chic Fil A a luxury. My friends have turned into an assortment of guys who are “nice enough” to still talk to me now that I’m in a relationship, girls who are generally using me for some reason or another, a best friend, Ryan and my parents. I wake up in the morning and my major checklist consists of: “how fat am I this morning”, “is my account overdrawn?”, “how freezing is my bedroom because I’m not allowed to have heat because I live in Drama Mansion” and “I can’t believe it’s already morning”. After quite a while I will finally somehow pep myself up and into the shower, promising myself that I can do my hair somehow cute, I can buy myself a coffee, or I can perhaps wear a cute outfit (provided my answer to the first question) and as I walk out the door maybe then I will feel like somehow something I’m doing is making a difference.

I mean, hello, there are people out there spending more time in a video-game world than they are in their real lives. They care more about their little troll's status than they do on how much they’re connected to their girlfriend, friends or families.

Are we all just living to the end here guys? The end of the work day? The end of the show? The end of the meal? To the time we can turn out the lights and go to sleep? What is going on?

Do you realize how many people don’t care or maybe don’t even bother to ask if they care if their lives have some kind of ultimate meaning? I had my own personal “are you serious” moment the other day when I figured out how much TV people watch. So many people are content to wake up, go to work in an office somewhere where everyone is in Corporate Mode and there is no such thing as genuine connection and then come home to a dinner on the sofa followed by four solid hours of “their shows” and then bed, only to do it all again and again and again. I have to be honest when I say that I just CANNOT understand that mentality…what the fuck is happening to your lives guys?

Sure, I enjoy laughing at an American Idol hopeful who belts out the national anthem in broken notes and forgets a line or two along the way but quite honestly I’m not going to be actually upset if I miss it. I don’t plan my life around FOX’s schedule.

Literally, I go out for dinner with my parents once a week and my dad updates me on his favorite shows. Are you serious, dad? This is what we talk about?

I don’t know, I’m sick of counting my change, I’m tired of constantly being shocked by reality. How come nothing is turning out the way it was supposed to when I was little? Where people think about what they want to do with their lives, work really hard to make some kind of impact on their world, their family, their personal little space on Earth and then at least find some contentment?

Instead, we’re all being force-fed contentment in the form of a cliffhanger on a 10:00PM sitcom about people on an island which of course I find ironic because it is for reasons like that which I believe most of us have Lost our own sense of reality, of obligation to ourselves. Cause for real man, I seriously sometimes look around and I actually cant believe that this is really life.


I keep a notebook with me most of the time. This comes from the pages of that…it doesn’t pretend to be deep or poetic or anything…it just is:

Is this really life?

These are the “men I’ve been with”?
These are the “best days of my life”?

Those were the “unforgettable nights”?
And I am the “young and vibrant woman”?

This is the “party lifestyle”?
These are my “roommates”?
And this is “City Life”?

This is really life?

Where living my dream means that
living is a dream.

Where I count my change
And no one changes

This is really life
This
This
This
This
This
This...

- Rhian