How To Spot a Creep (or how to tell if you are one)

Girls know what I’m talking about – you’re invited to your friend’s house one night, they’re having some new people over that they want you to meet. You arrive and are greeted by a couple: Jeff and Julie. You smile politely and extend your hand upon introduction. Julie is friendly and smiles back at you and then returns to the conversation she was having with the hostess. Jeff’s handshake lingers a little too long however and his eyes fall a little lower than your mouth when you are speaking your name. You have encountered a creep.

Creeps are everywhere and for single women, taken women, married women, lesbian women, and any other kind of woman there is, it’s all the same. We are never safe from their oogling eyes, their snickering, creepy laughs and their shameless excuses to put their hands on the smalls of our backs.

Recently I met a creep who, in front of his wife, made several comments about other women’s breasts and what it must be like to sleep with them (the women, not the breasts…though I’m sure if he’d thought of it, it would’ve been both). He then saw me pretend to eat a lollipop as part of a board game we were playing and heartily exclaimed “I know I just met you but I’m definitely going to be saving that image for later, if you know what I mean!” Ryan stared him down but it was too late, the creepiness had permeated the atmosphere.

Creeps. The guys who slither up aside you when you’re dancing in the club. The men who find excuses to trap you alone in a room to talk to you about their new computer/job/real estate deal/car when in reality you both know that he just wants to breath on you and check out your ass as you reach into the fridge to get out a beer. Guys who make uncomfortable sexual comments amidst regular conversation and grin at you afterwards, as if you’re somehow supposed to think it’s funny or cute or god knows what else.

I have encountered Creeps of all status, ages and social situations. A creep doesn’t care if he is making you or everyone else uncomfortable – he wants to feel out the situation, he wants to crack “jokes” with implicating eyes and a hint of seriousness that literally makes you want to run from the room (or hop into the shower). Creeps stand too close and breathe too heavily. They touch you too much or at least have the vibe that there is “meaning” behind it when they place their hand on your arm as they move by you in a crowd.

Now don’t get me wrong, I do not assume that any man who talks to me, who makes a joke or who allows his eyes to wander a bit is a creep – this is not a blanket statement, not all guys who have a sense of humor or who touch me are creepy. There is quite a difference between a man who is flirtatious and one who is a creep. Creeps have a deep, sneaky and shady intent. When around them, you feel as if they are plotting something, they’re not really participating in conversations and every exchange seems as if it is somehow on a checklist of creepiness towards reaching some nauseating ultimate goal (undoubtedly a disturbing sexual fantasy involving mice and parkas (seriously this is the vibe you get from them)).



his eyes pretty much sum up "the look"

So men, if you are doing things with a seedy intent, don’t fool yourselves – we know. Knock the dark, underhanded thoughts from your mind, stop trying to glance down my shirt or reach over to pluck a piece of invisible lint off of my sweater. Excuse yourself, take care of your problem and join the realm of normalcy where you don’t cause a creepy shudder to trickle down the spine of all the women present every time you step into the room.

Kthxbye.

♥ Rhian